Why, School?

I'm so frustrated with school. I feel like no matter what I do, I lose; which makes me not want to do anything which doesn't fix the problem. The problem is Moodle. Don't freaking sacrifice your classroom lecture skills just because people have Internet now. That is not conducive to learning! I don't even know what I'm supposed to know.

I'm taking this class called Technology Skills for the Educator, which was going to take place over three long weekends but was cancelled because the state of California makes higher education its number one priority. So now it's an online class and it fucking sucks. I wanted it to be over after three weeks and now I have to deal with it all semester long. Also, I didn't realize it was a three-unit course. I thought it was one unit, with a quick assignment each week that teaches us about software and computers or something like that. That would be logical. But instead every assignment is hours worth of busywork I don't even want to start. I get stuck on the instructions. I read them and cry for awhile because they are so vague. It's like all of the music education classes, with assignments like, "Make a lesson plan that covers a standard." No other details. Which standard? What grade? How long?

And guess what. I want to be a music teacher, I've mentioned that. My students will learn things, but not from the Internet. So why would I put them through a "Web Quest" assignment where they have to pretend they're some occupation and gather what could be false information from the Internet? And why do I have to find the specific websites they look at for them? That's not what I intend to do, ever. That is, again, not conducive to learning. Why don't you freaking open a book and learn stuff, kids? Or pay attention to my probably very short and stimulating lectures?

So, I'm really frustrated and upset about this. School is not supposed to be hard. Yes, I like to think and have ideas, but I like to have some kind of prompt or way of looking at information and then being able to discuss it. Not just, pull an assignment out of your ass. That is fucking stupid.

If a school required me to give students assignments that made them pretend they were a professional whatever and had to look up whatever from the Internet, I probably wouldn't work at that school. Or I would, but I shouldn't have to think about that crap now. Right now, I'm the student and I want to learn things and not pretend I'm a teacher and have to write a lesson plan. That's what the fucking credential year is for, assholes.

I practiced trumpet for two full hours today. I felt like a champion. And then I realized all my non-trumpet classes don't care how much I practice and now I feel like crap. Thank you, school. I'm glad I pay so much money to feel like crap.