Every time I think about who I am or how I am, I start crying. I hate it so much. Nothing in my life is really that bad. I don't deserve to feel this way. The burning loneliness is the only reason for it. I miss having roommates. I wasn't ready for them to just up and leave. I kind of needed them to distract me from me. Now I don't have any distractions, just constant reminders of how I'm not "as good as I should be." I hate that I'm punished for having ability.
I want to go home for spring break and not come back. Except now my house is gone, too. I feel like that's my fault. I feel like every problem I'm having in my life is my fault. Most of them are, I know. What hurts the most is what other people have invested in me. I'm so sorry I failed.