Well, I had a really great week and a half enjoying the benefits of having exercised for six weeks, and then I had to ruin it with my emotions. So now I'm back to nothing. I haven't really exercised in about a month (except that bike ride in Folsom). Walking does not count, even if it is for two miles. Agh. I just can't even start anymore. I get up and think, "This time, maybe I can!" And then I don't. Mostly because it's raining. Big deal? I guess it is to my morning self. And I'm just too woozy in the morning to handle yoga.

Someday I will have a job where I won't have to do more of my job when I get home. I can have work be done at work, and then I can use my non-committal time to do things for myself. Like exercise. And cook fancy meals, which I already do because it's my form of procrastination. "Sorry I didn't work on my teacher research project. I had to cook dinner for two hours, and then eat it, and then it was bedtime."

Overall I am finally starting to feel okay with my progress as a student teacher. By okay, I mean not freaking out over a competency test that I was a year late in completing. Because that's done and it was good. And the Solo and Ensemble festival was amazing. I helped to run it yesterday because my mentor teacher was in charge of it. I "hired" a team of helpers to set up, make the event flow, and clean up after. It was a crazy day, but I think I'm finally starting to see my future. I can run an event. I can help to facilitate real musical growth, and not just by teaching.

I sure wish I had the capacity to start exercising again, though. Even so little as it being sunny outside could help with that. Letting the days get longer...go, earth, go.