Everything is connected to everything.

I bought this shirt online and got it today. I wasn't sure it would fit, and it feels kind of tight but my roommate said it looks good. It's freaking amazing. I can't wait to wear it at school.

I can't believe how amazing I feel right now. I really, really can't believe it. It hasn't been just today, but ever since school started. Everything I'm doing is so important for everything I will be doing. I just haven't felt that in so long.

I've started taking yoga and Latin dance classes, and this is why--the vast majority of things I have studied, elementary through high school, has been a piece of delicious knowledge cake for me. I know structured schoolish learning isn't for everyone--even if someone wants to learn all about something, it might still be difficult for him/her. People learn in different ways. I want to experience not being good at something the first time I try it, which includes (for me) all things physical. I'm analytic and aesthetically creative, and have never been a kinesthetic learner. Hence, the yoga and dance.

(By the way, I don't think I've ever felt so good after such intense physical exertion, ever. I feel unstoppable.)

But wait, there's more. Yoga is largely focused on breathing, which is a neat coincidence--I just started the class because my friend was doing it. Right now, in my voice class (as a novice singer) we're learning the basics of proper breathing. One of the main giant points of my conducting class is having awareness of my own body as I conduct. That idea scares the crap out of me...that people will be looking at me, that I will have to watch a video of myself and analyze what my body is doing and if that is conveying what I feel should happen in the music.

Hopefully after becoming more aware of my body in other places and other areas, I won't be so scared of what I'm physically doing in front of people. Suddenly the notion that I can be a musician who can show with her body how she wants her group to perform doesn't feel as alien as I thought it would.

And then there's vocal and instrumental scoring. I can't believe only music ed and composition majors are allowed to take that class. What we're learning is what I think every musician should know regardless of how they might or might not use it. (It's about part writing, arranging music, and being faithful to the original music even if your ensemble lacks crucial roles.) It's been two weeks and I'm already a different person.