Friday, January 18, 2008

Axolotl Dreams and Ambiturning

I have two science major roommates. One day a few months ago (almost a year ago, actually) they told me they were going to try and save an axolotl from the evil clutches of science. A few days later, they came home with Piña.

Now, that picture really doesn't do Piña justice. In reality he is adorable like you cannot even imagine. His look is reminiscent of a Pokemon, except better because he's real. Fuzzy red gills surround his face which has little black dots for eyes. When he eats he opens his mouth for a split second while some kind of vacuum forces anything and everything into his stomach. This, in turn, forces his entire body to jump.

And finally, when playtime comes around, his skin changes color from a ghosty white to a full-fledged glow-in-the-dark pink. By that I mean the color of pink stuff that glows in the dark? That color. I must say there is no sight quite like that of a playing pink axolotl.

Now. Ever since we got
Piña I've had more dreams about him than I've had about anything else. One time I had a dream that my sister turned into an axolotl and escaped into a lake. Then I had a dream that I became an axolotl and Piña was my axolotl friend. I could go on, but those were several months ago. I thought I was over it.

But nay. Three nights ago I dreamed that
Piña had become just a regular old fish. I didn't even notice. Shame on me! The fish acted just like Piña. He got all excited when I opened the tank and said his name. I could have sworn it was Piña until I woke up and thought, "Wait...that's not right..."

And then last night, I had a dream that
Piña had become a black axolotl. I looked into his tank and saw the black axolotl and thought, "Well, that's different. But he's still cute!" Sure enough Piña is still white.

I also discovered last night that like Zoolander, I'm not an ambiturner. (I'm also really, really, really, ridiculously good-looking.)

All my life I've sucked at sleeping. No, that's a lie. My first two years of college I was a champion sleeper. I went to sleep and woke up at the same time every single day. I don't know how I did it.

But now I suck at it again. It mostly has to do with something weird in my ribcage that pops. It's not quite like how your back or ankles or knees pop. But it just feels like something is slipping in and out of place when I lie or inhale a certain way. It's been like that for years. Don't know why. But I can't find a comfortable position because that popping occurs when I breathe and it bothers me so.

But last night I realized that when I change positions, I can't turn left. I just. Can't.

That would explain why all my blankets get ripped off my bed one way, and the sheet underneath gets ripped off the other. Ohhh.

Also, I have a catchphrase for Violent Acres: "Sarcasm-infested claws of truth." I made that up before going to sleep. Yeah. It's pretty bad. I am addicted to her writing. I kind of just wanted to use the word "infested."

Wow! I just will not end this post! But I just ordered a crappy computer microphone for ten dollars. So maybe soon I can post my ukulele songs. Give me two nouns and a verb and I will make it into a song. I swear I will. I was famous for this game at the camp I worked at.


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